Where the Grass is Green, and the Girls are Pretty...
Sunday, January 28, 2007 at 9:13PM 
It’s so very typical…the very things that the rest of the world would accuse me of – solely by virtue of being a member of the Northern California demographic - actually happened to me this weekend – in abundance. Yes, dot-com parties (remember those?), as well as fit-good-looking-single-investment-bankers, and not to mention a blissful facial at Burke Williams, all of these make me guilty of the No-Cal ennui.
Read on. It’s funny, but true. Every word.
First of all…I’m doing another triathlon. Yes, triathletes do indeed grow on trees in Northern California, and I’m one of them. I had some fun the first time, but now I’m out for blood. I want to improve my time, get stronger, go faster, and raise more money for Leukemia & Lymphoma research. There is much too much cancer out there in the world, and if I can somehow contribute to a cure I’m ready to put up with the hardship of training. So, it takes a triathlete to know a triathlete...ugh.
After a long afternoon of shopping with a close friend (more on that later…) I ended up at home totally pooped, but still needing to socialize. Enter Megen & Rachel with the hookup to a party. Not just any party, but the launch party for a new website called Wellsphere.com. We didn’t know what Wellsphere was all about, but the three of us piled into Meg’s car and rolled over to the area between the Mission District and Potrero Hill that was formerly known as “Media Gulch.” This neighborhood of old warehouses and new-construction lofts was the purview of website launch and IPO parties circa Y2K. A website launch party, you say? I’m in…I love retro, and a dot-com launch party is so very retro - retro 1999.
Upon arrival at Mission Cliffs, we were subjected to your typical party sitch of lines, security, and bouncers. Yet there was something different here, yes a questionnaire of “who are you, what are your activities, what’s your zip code, why are you cool?”… Wow, I’m being marketed and I haven’t even been handed a beer – what is this Wellspere.com anyways?
Upon entry we found our triathlete buddies, and the 411 on Wellsphere. Basically, it’s a dating/social website for fit-and-fun people. You like sea kayaking, salsa dancing, and Asian-Fusion food? Here’s a whole gang of guys you should go out with… You know the deal: MySpace meets Friendster, meets Match.com. I know. I was over it before I ever got my first glass of sangria. Yes, they served sangria at a party of over 1000 people – sangria, and Vitamin Water.
Are you kidding? No. No, I’m not.
No jokes aside, there was a band, drinks, and tons of people. The photographers kept snapping pictures of guests, and these were then transmitted to the big-screen so everyone could check everyone-else out without any shame. Mission Cliffs is a rock-climbing wall, so the whole floor was completely spongey and weird – like that scene from Revenge of the Nerds where they “do it on the moon…” Sheesh. It was like a well-funded frat party got organized and blitzed itself on the health-and-wellness scene. There were even professional hip-hop dancers, and three different massage tables…These fitness geeks really are geeky. The best part of the night was a clever music mix of "Dare" by the Gorillaz with "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas - I dunno, it just worked. Also, oddly enough, I saw a lot of folks I knew – and a few fellows I had gone on a date with one time or another… so, what does that make me? Hmmm…
Here’s a few well-edited tales of the tape…:
Me: "Hey, Meg, look, there’s Guy 1…flag him down."
Meg: "No-no, he’s so blah-blah…He'll find us eventually."
Me: "What is that anyways, you’re all about repeating yourself: “my hair’s so bore-bore, he’s so blah-blah…” what’s it about?"
Meg: "Yeah-yeah…I dunno."
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Guy 1 to Me, Meg, & Rachel: “What do you girls think – it looks like the whole Marina District moved South of Market…”
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Me: “Where did all these hot guys come from? Why aren’t we hanging out where these guys are?”
Rachel: "The Marina... But I have a question: Why are we talking to the girls we know, and why aren’t we talking to guys we don’t know?”
Me: “Yes, why aren’t we? – go talk to those guys…”
Rachel: “No, I can’t…”
Me: “Well – that guy over there is cute…”
Rachel: “Which one?”
Me: “That one – blazer, white shirt with the collar open – he’s super-cute.”
Rachel: “Yeah he is, but he’s got two girls with him… God, all the guys here are cute, but the girls are so much better-looking than the guys are…”
Me: “Welcome to San Francisco.”
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Meg: "So tell me again why you aren't dating him?"
Me: "I cannot even begin to list the reasons why not."
Rachel: "He sounds so promising."
Me: "Oh he is. For someone else. When four of my closest friends tell me he's not the guy for me, he's just not the guy for me - I trust myself and I trust my friends. There's no promise in it for me - when you know, you know. Honestly, it's not even an issue."
Meg: "Okay. You have a point. I know I push you toward the wrong guys all the time...I'm sorry about that."
Me: "Oh please...Do you want another Stella?"
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Fast-forward to Sunday morning…
I booked an appointment at Burke Williams, because blogging has its privileges, and because my Godparents gave me a very generous gift certificate to the amazing spa for my Big Three-Oh last month. I needed a facial, yet the only time Burke Williams had for me was at 9:30 AM on a Sunday morning. On Friday night I realized that I wouldn’t get a single weekend morning to actually sleep-in this weekend…but oh well.
I arrived at the new Westfield Mall around 9:20 AM and made my way up five different escalators. Malls are weird and wonderful places at around 9 AM on a Sunday morning – there’s no one around, and the Muzak is being piped in loud and clear. My ascent felt like a scene from a Milan Kundera novel wherein the main character walks through an entirely public space, and yet can still feel the eyes of the suspicious peering out from behind the closed blinds. Totally bizarre.
Burke Williams. Sigh!
My goodness, Burke Williams steps up the average ordinary spa experience for the unsuspecting No-Cal girl. On Friday, one of my colleagues asked me what I was doing this weekend… “Oh, I have a facial scheduled at Burke Williams…”
“Oh my god…I LOVE Burke Williams! I’m from L.A., so I love that place. Just recently I realized that San Francisco now has a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, as well as a Burke Williams – I said to myself…yeah, you don’t need to live in L.A. any more – SF has it all…”
I love L.A., but I’m the one that says that now San Francisco has H&M, Marc by Marc Jacobs, and Barney’s coming later this year, there won’t be any reason to go to New York any more… (Magnolia cupcakes, brunches at Balthazar, and ‘ino’s truffled egg toast aside…) New York or L.A. - if someone is willing to give Burke Williams this kind of endorsement, I totally understand where she’s coming from.
Burke Williams. Of the sleek, black counters, apothecary displays, striped silk curtains, suede-deco chairs, pink phalenopsis orchids, dry steam-room, shivitz, and hydration therapy. Burke Williams, of the Entourage fame… Burke Williams, whose Nourishing Facial gave me paraffin-coated hands and an entirely new face.
I am blessed with good skin – good Irish skin. It’s pale like alabaster, freckled for personality, and offers a bloom of the Irish rose just across the cheeks. I know my skin and my skin care. I know when I need to exfoliate, hydrate, masque, and eat more green vegetables – it’s all in my skin. Lately, my good skin has been asked to do too much – namely, carry the stress of an entire psyche with complete insousciance. Not so fast, it says to me…take care of me! And so, a facial. A Burke Williams, only-found-in-California facial. Yum yum.
My esthetician told me that yes, I do have really small pores and excessively sensitive skin, (her emphasis,) but also trans-epidermal dehydration – a factor of cold weather and harsh winds – so very No-Cal. She also suggested an eye serum composed of vitamin K to reduce dark circles.
Gee. Thanks. Point that out why don’t you?
Apparently my wildly expensive Crème de la Mer eye cream does nothing for me – that’s really only for wrinkles and crow’s feet – two afflictions I thankfully DON'T have at the moment. However,I really do need to get ahold of the vitamin K…apparently it stimulates blood flow, which I really need more than wrinkle relief. Okay – why have I been led down the primrose path of promise that Crème de la Mer markets? I have no idea.
Esthetician: “I’m now applying a collagen masque…do you know what collagen does?”
Visions of Julia Roberts’ lips flash through my mind before I say: “Yes, I know it plumps things up…”
Esthetician: “Yes – it’s going to plump up all your skin cells…”
Oh goodie.
I left Burke Williams with newly-supple, vibrant, pink skin…the kind of skin you wish you woke up with each day so you wouldn’t have to bother with makeup.
As I again descended the escalators through the still-empty Westfield mall…On the way down I thought… a triathlon meeting, fitness-romance-website-launch party, and a facial all in one 18-hour period…hmmm.
God, I’m such a Northern-California Girl. The only thing missing this weekend would be a trip to my acupuncturist in Mill Valley.
Reader Comments (3)
Also, next time I'm in the great state of California, I am going to Burke Williams (I'd never heard of it before). Sounds like heaven!
The badge for TNT on the right side of the site will also take you there...!