Doggie Doppelganger
Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 8:54PM 
Kevin Hunsanger of Green Apple Books visits the KFOG Morning Show every now and then, bringing to radio some solid book picks. I always like when he visits - I stand in the bathroom doing my morning routine while I get good ideas for new books to check out. It was in this state earlier this week when I heard him mention Dirty Wow Wow - a little gift book that explores the chronicles of stuffed childhood friends. How sweet!, I thought as I applied my eyeshadow, that's a book I should look into!
Fast-forward to today at lunchtime when I was walking through Book Passage in the Ferry Building...Isn't it nice to browse in bookstores during your lunch break? You can see what's new, what's popular, what you're interested in, and yet you only have a few minutes so there's no pressure to really get invested in the browsing. You can be a lookie-loo, enjoy yourself, and get out clean before heading back to the cube farm. This is exactly the pleasant state I was in, browsing the fiction, when I looked up and to my left and saw him, or it... or I saw the him that is really an "it" on the cover of another "it" - the cover of Dirty Wow Wow...
There it was, a real-life copy of the book I'd had in mind. Except, the cover featured an utterly heart-stopping image that was totally unexpected for me. There, on the cover, was a well-loved stuffed dog - not just any dog, mind you, it was MY dog. I looked once, I looked twice...oh my God! It's Poochie! How did Poochie end up on the cover of this book? He stared back at me with that coy, mischievous gaze that I knew so well. He seemed to say: "You forgot all about me, so I went out and decided to become a spokesmodel for other forgotten misfit stufties. Look at me now...You have a "blog"...and I have a bookdeal..."
It was so exact a likeness that my heart began to pound. The worn, thread-bare patch on the foot, the ultra-thin neck whittled down from years of being the convenient hand-hold, the scratched-up eye balls that my Mom always called "cataracts" even before I knew what those were. How can this be? Where and when did I see Poochie last? Is it possible someone found him? WHO STOLE MY POOCHIE?
Relax, I'm right here...although I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about me like I'm dead.
Poochie? Where are you?
Right where you left me - in a box someplace.
But where? I looked in storage - you're not there!
Maybe you should have thought of that before you wrapped me in plastic and put me in a box that you lost track of...but when you find me, I'll be here.
I'm sorry old friend. Truly.
I know that - it really is unfair, I must say. Hug and Bear get to be in your room - I'm much more important than they are...And while Hug gets to sit on the floor next to the heater, Bear gets to sit on your bed!
How do you know this? Besides, Hug and Bear are a little bit, well, less decrepit than you? I mean that in the best possible way.
Less decrepit? I seem to remember you dropping Hug on his head and his nose fell off - who wants a big grizzly bear named "Hug" with no nose? And he wears that awful striped sweater too. And he's just so big, I was the floppy one that could go anywhere.
I know. You're really good at the guilt-trip Pooch - of course I remember bringing you everywhere. Lake Tahoe, overnight camp, even Australia...
Yes, and the only time you left me anyplace was in the middle of Grandma's lawn. I actually had a nice view of the Big Dipper for a while, until the sprinklers came on.
Yes, but I put you in a warm dryer, and sat on the floor singing to you until the cycle finished.
I know - that was very sweet. But then your mother tried to replace me - ha! As if that character had any personality.
Well, I was having allergies, and she thought that would help. She always said you couldn't be washed because you'd be likely to disintegrate, and your neck had already endured reinforcing surgeries - so she got another you...But I was loyal to the real thing, if you remember. I can't even remember that impostor's name!
Good. Yes, the neck - why did you hold me there, by the neck...who does that? And those little hands held me awfully tight - sometimes I couldn't breathe. I suppose it was proof of your affections...
Of course - you know it's true. But what about this book?
It isn't me silly goose. If you read it, it says that bozo's name is "Rover" and he belongs to someone else.
Well I never - the resemblance is truly uncanny. You know there are a lot of stories in this book that sound a lot like yours...there's Elle Phant, Quinn, Floppy, Green Ears, and don't forget Gonks - he's cool! All of them have wonderful stories.
Enough! Would you please come and find me wherever I am? It's stinky that you're appreciating these other misfits and I'm away in a box. Don't you love me?
Oh Poochie - of course I love you! I loved you the moment we met on Christmas Eve - was it 1980?
1981...I'm glad you still love me. Knowing that, I'll wait in this box forever.
Not forever, but I don't know where you are! Maybe Mom & Dad know...But you're just misplaced Pooch - I'd never throw you away. You're my first friend!
Read about other first friends in Cheryl & Jeffrey Katz's Dirty Wow Wow and Other Love Stores - It will make you think of someone you probably have lost track of, and haven't seen in many years!
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