Bye Bye Bob!

I am going to miss this man. The ever-dapper suit, the silver hair, the lean carriage, the signature finger-tip hold on the microphone... The fact that he single-handedly kicked Happy Gilmore's ass.

God bless you, Bob Barker. We, the kooks in Kookville will never forget what you've done for us. You are the great equalizer for all of us and our misguided aspirations at fame and fortune. Thanks to you, every person of every walk of life has been a TV star - even if only for the brief 42 minutes a day that The Price is Right is on the air.

Confession: I have always wanted to be one - a contestant that is... Yes. I've often considered rounding up a gaggle of crazy friends, road-tripping to L.A., and getting me one of those awesome nametags. I've dreamed of the moment when Rod Roddy would tell me to "Come On Down!!!"

I'd jump in the air, scream, yell, and positively leap down those stairs to my place on contestant's row, for the slim chance to bid on a foosball table, collector's coins, set of croc pots in fifteen sizes... just to be tickled pink when Bob leans in and says: "Annie, what is your bid?" I just love it when he does that thing he does.

Bob has reached a milestone: fifty years on television and thirty-five years on The Price is Right. Apparently, at the ripe age of 83, Bob has decided that enough is enough. I'm happy that at his retirement he is more of an icon than ever, departing at the top of his popularity. The few times I've caught the show in the past few years, it seems that Barker's appeal grows with every new generation of game show devotees. He's a cult figure now, no doubt due to his appearance in Happy Gilmore, countless Pro-Am golf tourneys, and these days the daytime talk shows. One of the final figureheads of mid-century television, he's re-branded himself as the emcee for Gen-X/Y - the collegiate hoodlum set, all while reminding everyone to have their pet spayed or neutered. It isn't just anyone who can carry off that closer with panache.

Everyone loves Bob. He's a dandy, good-looking, witty, funny, and welcoming. He high-fives, kisses, hugs, dances - whatever form of grateful greeting you want to give him, he'll take it and you that much further. You stand there on the stage that hasn't changed since 1972, catch a glimpse of the Barker's Beauties, while Rod Roddy tells you you're playing for "A Newwww Karrr!"... 

Plinko: Game of KingsAnd then you get to play Plinko. Tell me, is there truly anything more fun, more exciting, more American than Bob Barker and The Price is Right? It's the epitome of kitch in our uber-kitchy culture, yet with Barker on board it still had class.

CBS has been looking for a replacement for Bob Barker for three years or so, but no one has risen to the top as yet. Barker recommends that whomever it is, that they learn the 80-odd games backwards and forwards. Everyone has a favorite, and while I love Plinko, Punch a Bunch, Cliff Hanger, and the very basic Hi-Low, there are so many that I don't think I've ever seen. (There is actually a listing of all the games that can be found on the CBS website.)  So many games, so little time, and all of them had the vivid colors, flashing lightbulbs, ringing bells, and psychedelic lettering of bygone design days. When kitchen appliances were avocado, and everyone had plastic daisies on the bottom of the shower. So, how will all of those wonderfully dated, semi-homemade games be administered without Bob? Without Bob, I'm afraid the mid-century kitch may simply be cleared out, moved to a back lot, and left to fade in the hot Hollywood sunshine.

While I can only hope no one comes in with modern updates, a new theme song, or any other motif that changes things, we all know that having The Price is Right emerge from this transition unscathed is unlikely. A new set is only part of the problem... Today's television emcees just don't have "it" - whatever the "it" is that Bob Barker had in abundance: the poise, the elegance without femininity, the wit without bitter sarcasm, the self-effacing humor, the good-looks, the universal appeal. Who embodies all of that today? - Howie Mandel? Tom Bergeron? No, and no. The search will be difficult and long...but hey, those are nice suits to fill.

Bob will be missed...

Comments

[maura]

Wasn't the Price is Right on for 90 minutes? At least for a while? OMG! How many sick days from school, sitting at the kitchen table in PJs, watching the late morning sunlight stream in with Bob and company flashing on the screen? How comforting! How fabulous! I still want to be on the PIR! I want to give hima chaste kiss on the cheek, and vibrate with excitement while I try to remember how much Spray and Wash and Bounce are going for these days. I WANT to be in a showcase showdown, with Bob calmly and smoothly asking me for my price.