Overheard: Madonna in W Magazine

W Magazine cover, March 2009, Madonna photographed by Steven KleinThis evening at the grocery store, I noticed a Rather Good-Looking Couple perusing the new edition of W Magazine in the checkout line. One page of a stylized, frightened, and strung-out looking Madonna followed another, with a generous helping of a hot Brazilian male on the side...

Woman: "Wow, it's such a big spread!"

Man:"Who is that guy anyways?"

Woman: "I've never seen him before, but apparently he's called Jesus Luiz."

Man: "How do you know?"

Woman: "He's tattooed his name on his back in case he forgets."

Man: "She just doesn't look normal, I mean, she's not twenty any more - how does she look like that?"

Woman: "Yoga?"

The checkout line advances and the Rather Good-Looking Couple start to get rung up by a tall, thin, sweet-faced fellow with a slouch, thinning hair, and monstrously thick bifocals. In the dictionary next to the word "geek", there is a picture of this man.

Products begin to get scanned... beep.

Clerk: "Oh, you're looking at Madonna?" ...beep

Woman: "Yeah - it's quite a spread."...beep

Man: "But really, does she really look like that?" ...beep "It's pretty scary." ...beep

Clerk: "Well, the cover image isn't my favorite - she looks sort of sickly." ...beep "She's too thin and she looks like she's high. But overall, I think that Steven Klein did a really amazing job." ...beep

The Rather Good-Looking Couple appear stunned and look in my direction for some sort of mutual amazement. The clerk continues.

...beep

Clerk: "I think it's a collector's issue, like the one Klein did before with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?" ...beep "But there's only a few images in this one that I really like. It's sort of weird," ...beep "like you know something bad's about to happen to her." ...beep "But it's definitely artful - my favorite edition in a while. Your total is $53.42 - oh, are you buying the magazine?"

The couple stare silently for a second. The woman turns to me with wide eyes and quickly slaps the magazine shut and shoves it into the wire magazine rack, above the Lindt chocolates, just between Sunset and Bon Appetit.

Clerk: "Oh, you can leave it right here, I'll put it back for you..."

Comments

[Genevieve]

Funny, I was just thumbing through that magazine on Sunday. She looks... alien-like. So taut, both face and body. She's a ghost of her former self. I mean, remember the bushy eyebrows and the mole and the eyeliner when she first came on the scene? I fee like no new ground is being broken with this pictorial...

[victoria thorne]

this is a beautifully written post. great story. love the clerk.

always sort of wished i hadn't thrown out the first pitt/jolie issue, but i found it so shockingly home-wrecking at the time. it now seems funny that i was so affronted by brangelina's brilliant marketing, which (of course) they just continue to roll out...

anyway. the clerk is right. and you? write, beautifully.

[Material Girl]

OH em gee. I just lol'ed for real all alone cross-legged on my bed. Marvy, marvy, marvy.

...and for the record, I really disliked the Madonna spread. Totally redundant/pointless, considering her previous body of photographic work. Let's hope this month's W is better. Oh wait, it's the ever-yawnsome Drew Barrymore on the cover...never mind.