Reasons Not to Read Poetic & Chic

Okay, so it's my first post in a while and since I've apologized about this mysterious glitch in my wiring before (you know, the one that causes long pauses between postings,) I'm just going to press on with something I've never done before. I know that other gorgeous bloggers like Winona at Daddy Likey and Wendy Brandes (so looking forward to seeing you this week BTW!) sometimes answer reader questions on the air, as it were. I've always been entertained by this, but apart from the mountains of ridiculously ill-pitched PR releases I get, I don't get too much email.

However, I do get a lot of questions from readers I meet in person...questions, and comments.

Some comments are rather absurd, but being a nice girl I usually smile and giggle like an idiot, thereby putting everyone more at ease. I believe this is called "glossing over". So, I thought I'd turn the tables and answer a few of them in the way I'd really like if I weren't the spectacularly mindful and polite person that I am. I'm not kidding when I say these are actual questions & comments I've received. They are a bit ridiculous, so I thought I'd respond accordingly. Hence, a few reasons not to read Poetic & Chic...

You never show self-portraits. What's the matter, aren't you pretty?

Ridiculously so, but I have ADD. If I had to look at myself every day I'd probably die of boredom.

You use words I actually have to look up in the dictionary.

Yes, I'm sorry. I wrote that into my weltenschauung someplace years ago.

The movies you talk about are way old.

I know. It's a problem.

Why don't you ever talk about your boyfriend? Isn't there a Mr. P&C?

Let's just say I'm holding out for a hero - you know, a street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat, it's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet.

Why don't you write about Michelle Obama?

Hmmm. You know when I read all of the stylistic play-by-play of the First Lady on just about every fashion blog on the internet I decided I had so much more to say that I got overwhelmed and gave up.

You don't list me on your blogroll.

You're right. I don't.

Why aren't you friends with the "famous" fashion bloggers?

Okay, well I am, actually. (And I have the hangovers to prove it too.) But, I like to run only with the best.

You talk about people I don't know, (Beaudrillard, Schopenhauer, de Botton, etc.) Who are these people?

Just some random dudes I met in a hash club in Amsterdam this one time.

Your blog isn't updated every day.

Yes, I'm a lazy unemployed slacker. I go to bed after Letterman and get up after 9. The hours in between are rife with activity whose content is so rich and complex I couldn't possibly explain it all here. Kaythanxbye.

Why can't you just see fashion, and love it, and take it like all the other bloggers?

Why indeed? I couldn't say really. Perhaps I should call on Euripedes here by saying "Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing." (That dude was in Amsterdam too.)

You don't cover the runway shows.

I know. And, I sincerely apologize for this failing since I know no one else writes about this.

What's the deal with the old music - Herb Alpert, Sergio Mendes, Henri Mancini - why don't you write about new bands?

I can't listen to them. My hand-cranked phonograph can't keep up with the guitar riffs.

No, you must be ugly, you never write about beauty products.

Okay. Here are my five favorites: sleep, water, fresh air, food, treadmill.

I think you're drunk when you write some of your posts. Please tell me it's the booze (or drugs) talking.

Didst I offend? Wow, I had no idea people could actually hear the ice cubes in my cocktail shaker via the internet. That's just frightening. I guess I'll have to switch back to wine and valium.

Like, why are you such a mega-bitch sometimes?

Because I can be. It's very refreshing. In fact you should try it...by writing your own damn blog.