Life Lessons Made Easy
Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 11:11AM 
I’m always the first person to say: “things happen for a reason.” Breakups, job losses (including my own,) all manner of life drama, and all manner of good things I attribute to the cosmic forces of kismet. So it was almost no surprise to me that I got an email from David Begler one day, introducing himself and his company Head Lands. I had seen ads for Head Lands on Facebook, had clicked through to the site, and though “Gee, that’s really cool. I’d love to do that…” It was just a few days later that I got his email.
David Begler’s Head Lands provides all types of life coaching, but does so out on a beautiful hike around San Francisco. Nothing is off-limits: careers, relationships, dreams large and small – all have equal relevance and David wastes no time in getting to the heart of what you’re all about. Actually, it’s kind of shocking how well and how quickly he figures you out…
Excited and nervous for our meeting, I met David at Crissy Field for our walk. I explained a bit of what was going on with me and how all-over-the-place I’d been since I’d been laid off. I was trying everything, excited about some things, disappointed about others. Almost immediately, David could see that what I really loved was my new company called Sourdough. When he asked me why, I explained:
“Well, the fabric is the key to the whole thing. I love the prints, the texture, the fact that it all came from another time and completely represents that time in history, but it’s still accessible for today. I love finding something that’s been beat-up and forgotten and bringing it back to life. I love how the finished product looks after seeing the raw fabric and imagining the possibilities.”
It was after this speech that David hit me with his zinger.
“What if your life was like a piece of that fabric? What if it was something you could hold in your hand and find exciting, fascinating, and full of possibilities?”
This was not what I expected at all. Existentialist philosophy in the middle of a sunny afternoon? What would Sartre think? The idea caught me off-guard for a second, but then I thought about how beautiful and wonderful the world would be if I could approach it this way. After discussing this some more, we moved on to a few more practical things that I really needed some help with, namely how to assert myself to show my own value and worth. Negotiations are not my strong suit, and as an independent contractor, they are happening more and more frequently. I was tired of caving and knew that accepting less than my expectation was just going to hurt me in the long run.
This was where the “everyday” coaching began. We rehearsed scenarios over and over, until I was confident and practiced. It was like years of awkwardness, intimidation and fear had melted away with just a few run-throughs.
Looking back on our walk I realized that David approached my coaching from both high-level and focused perspectives. I got the big-picture philosophy, AND the practical things I could use every day. (I even got a few homework assignments of things I had to work on and benchmarks I needed to meet.) During our follow-up chats, we moved ahead with this and I’ve gotten even better at hearing and muting the “little voices” that become such a drag. David likes to give the voices names so you can address them and control them. Sounds schitzo, right? But it’s not, it’s actually quite valuable.
In our final follow-up David asked me if I’d named my inner naysayer. Almost immediately I decided to call him “Lurch”, and David asked me why I would choose the creepy butler from the Addams Family.
“Because he’s there, in the corner, and he doesn’t say anything, but he’s dark and sort of draining.”
“But Lurch is also the servant, so you can control him and tell him what to do. He works for you, not the other way around. So, when Lurch starts to tell you not to do something, or that what you want is a bad idea, what are you going to do?”
“Tell him to go into the kitchen and make me dinner.”
So, Lurch makes me dinner almost every night while I work on the things I really want to work on. It’s a refreshing change. I expect Lurch will move on to someone else eventually because he doesn’t have much to do around here any more, all thanks to David.
So many people are in transition these days, especially due to the economy and job losses. It’s nice to see that many realize that the uncertainty is a gift, a new chance for something better. Even so, it’s nice to get some help. I keep recommending David & Head Lands to friends, because I cannot say enough good things about him. His help has created a small change for me, but a powerful one and it’s continuing to grow.
The Head Lands Log (blog) has recently launched and I'm so impressed with the posts. They really show David's personality, style, and approach to helping others. Check it out - I promise, you won't be the same again!
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